Dephne

Age: 24
Gender: Female

Origin: Pakistan
Host: Thailand

Locked safely in the pages of Dephne’s blue diary, are the anecdotes of a Christian woman who fled from an unsafe environment, in a country where religious discrimination has long shaped its society and politics. The search for the right ‘Third Country’ to complete her degree and find employment, marks the current chapter of the continuing pages of her dreams and desires.

“My name is Dephne. I’m 24 and I’m from Pakistan. I am the only child and belong to a Christian Family. My mom used to work as a medical staff and teach in a charity school. She faced religious persecution. When my mom faced that problem, we had a really big issue. There was no safe place for us or even able to live there anymore.

It made us fearful, so we had to leave my country and came to this country, Thailand, when I was only 15 years old. When we were leaving our country there was only thing in our mind, just to leave and just go hide somewhere, just save our lives. Since that day until now, we don’t know what’s going to happen next and usually like a roller coaster all the time we are here. Until today, the first thing in our mind is always saving our lives and just hide somewhere as much as we can to save our lives. I don’t have brother and sister so I couldn’t always stress my parents. Sometimes the thing I wanted to share, I just keep it all in me. We’re always sitting in our place. We don’t know what is going to happen next day because of the fear of arrest and police problem.

We don’t know what is going to happen next day because of the fear of arrest and police problem.

For me, when I came here, I was just a teenager. At first, it was very traumatic for me. I used to cry and I just had no idea about my future. I used to plan back in my country with my friends how we will go to university together, how we are going to finish our study and work together and so on. I was thinking of my friends at my age back in my country, my classmates, they’re all getting their degrees, but for me I was just sitting here thinking of how I came to this life. I hope one day when I get a chance to move to the third country. My first priority would be continuing my study and get degree so I can determine my future.


I was thinking of my friends at my age back in my country, they’re all getting their degrees, but for me I am just sitting here thinking of how I came to this life.

It’s not only about me. There are so many refugee kids, boys and girls who really want to go to school, but they cannot. So, they are getting into anxiety and stress. They just keep thinking about their lives that they don’t have future.

I always think about work because refugees are not allowed to work here. Especially, right now in the pandemic situation, I don’t want to be in the situation I’m in right now. Looking for someone else to help me and the thing I want I cannot have. Just wishing about them, like I wish I had that kind of life.

I understand that refugees are not accepted here, but when it comes about a life or sickness, there should be equality. Hospital and people like doctors, nurses are known that they are saving people’s lives. It’s not about country, culture, refugee or whatsoever, but we are all human — it’s about saving lives.

Hospital and people like doctors, nurses are known that they are saving people’s lives. It’s not about country, culture, refugee or whatsoever, but we are all human — it’s about saving lives.

We are not criminals. We didn’t do anything wrong but still we’re living like we did very wrong just because we want to save our lives, and it was not in our hands that we are in this country. So, I would really humbly request those who are able to do something for the people like me or the other refugees, just talk to these people, ask what they’re going through. Sometimes they just want someone to talk to. Please show them you are around and try to help them with some study or any kind of help, just don’t step back and just be nice with them because this is what we are missing.”

We are not criminals. We didn’t do anything wrong but still we’re living like we did very wrong just because we want to save our lives.

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